Becky Beyond Blue

Hi! Thanks for stumbling across my blog :) My name is Becky, I'm 21 and I live in Brighton, UK. I love cats, music and chocolate and I'm one of the unfortunate people to have been struck with Severe Clinical Depression and Anxiety Disorder. In this blog I write about my common struggles of coping with this illness and what I'm attempting to do to recover. If you read my posts you'll gain an insight into living with Depression and maybe find some advice on how to cope.

Wednesday 11 May 2016

Support systems and dysfunctional families

Having a solid support system is one of the most important things, in my opinion, for coping with a debilitating mental illness, or any illness or difficulty for that matter. For most of us it is extremely hard to trust people, and putting your trust in the wrong people can have such a negative effect, like I found out the hard way, time and time again. This doesn't, however, mean that no one can be trusted, because if I didn't learn to trust the people that I do now then I would be in so much of a worse state. Firstly, not to go off on a soppy love rant, but I honestly don't think I would still be alive if it weren't for the support of my amazing boyfriend, Adam. I know that so many people suffering with mental health aren't as lucky to find someone so special, and I completely appreciate that. All I can say to those people is that I really hope you can find someone like that soon.

Summer sun park fun (and random cute dog)

Adam has consistently kept me grounded from the day we became friends, picking me up from rock bottom over and over. He is so patient with my constant mood swings and change in attitudes and is so understanding of all my struggles. I like to think I also do the same for him, as he has suffered with severe social anxiety and mild to moderate depression in the past. I like to think we are a solid support system for each other. Adam has taught me that it is possible to love someone unconditionally. He accepts me for me completely, with all my flaws, and gives me the strength to keep trying, even in the darkest of times. We have been together for roughly 5 years, give or take, and still going strong. 

Having a jam with weird instruments in Morocco last month (I change my hair colour a lot)
On our way to a gig (or something) a couple years ago

Seeing as family, for me, haven't been the most reliable support system, I have found a beautiful family within my f**ked up little friendship group. We're all a bit damaged, but at the same time we accept each other for all our little quirks. You've probably heard from a number of different people that you need to stick with your true friends, who are usually a small group of 2 or 3. Our group, however, has nearly 20 people who I can be myself around. Yes, some more than others, and some I might feel I can trust more than others, but more or less I have had an absence of supportive parents, and instead gained a solid family of 20. We like to think we have something special. It's a bit of an odd bond where it's genuine love that we feel towards each other. Obviously not the kind of love I have for Adam, but really powerful family-type love. There have been a number of times where I feel the world has turned against me so I shut everything out, and EVERY SINGLE TIME the majority of these people don't make me feel like sh*t for ignoring them. Instead, regardless of whether I make contact with them or not for weeks, or months, will consistently try to make sure that I'm ok and express their fondness of me and how much they are there for me. I know that whatever sh*t situation I find myself in, each one of them would go the extra mile for me. If that's not family, I don't know what is.

I'd love to hear about your support systems too so pop me a comment or a private message, even if you just want someone to talk to about this!

Peace x

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